Financial Safety

This is the most important page on this website.

Romance fraud costs people more than any other kind of online dating harm: not just money, but savings, homes, relationships with family who warned them, and years of confidence afterwards.

It does not happen to careless people. It happens to intelligent, careful adults, because the fraud is designed by people who do this professionally and who are extremely good at it.

There is one rule that protects you from almost all of it.

The rule

Never send money, cryptocurrency, gift cards or bank details to someone you have met online. No exception is a real exception.

Not for a flight. Not for a visa. Not for a hospital bill. Not for a customs fee, a phone, a deposit, a courier, a lawyer, a fine, a border official, or an investment that closes tomorrow.

Not if you have spoken for six months. Not if you have video called. Not if they are verified. Not if they are crying. Not if they say they will pay you back next week and have never asked for anything before.

If someone you met online asks you for money, you are being defrauded. That statement has almost no exceptions, and the rare genuine ones are not worth the risk of being wrong.

Requests to refuse, without discussion

Every one of these is a documented fraud pattern. If you see one, you have your answer.

To meet you

A deposit to "confirm" a meeting
Travel money, flights or a visa
A fee to release them from a job, contract or the military
Money for a hotel or transport to reach you

Because something has gone wrong

A medical emergency, theirs or a relative's
An accident, an arrest, a fine, a legal fee
Being stranded, robbed or detained abroad
A phone, laptop or account they need to keep talking to you

Because money is stuck

Customs, import duty or a courier holding a package
A frozen bank account
An inheritance, settlement or payout that needs a fee released first
Bank charges to transfer a large sum to you

To make money

An investment opportunity, especially cryptocurrency
A trading platform they will "show you how" to use
Something time-limited, or that requires acting today

To the platform, supposedly

Unlocking an account
Releasing contact details
Reserving a profile
Processing a refund
Verification fees

MingleExtra never asks for payment through a member. All charges appear only on our own payment pages, initiated by you, in your account. Anyone contacting you about a platform fee is not us.

Why "but they are verified" is not a defence

This is the misunderstanding that costs the most money, so it is worth being blunt.

Verification confirms only the check named on the badge. An email that received a code. A phone that received a code. A photo taken live at that moment. A document that appeared genuine.

Verification does not confirm intentions. It cannot. No check anywhere can establish what someone plans to do.

Fraudsters complete verification. It is a cost of doing business for them, and a verified profile is more profitable precisely because people trust it more. The badge tells you an account is probably operated by a real person. It tells you nothing about whether that person is honest.

Video calls are not proof either. They raise the effort required, which is why they are worth doing, but a person can appear on camera and still be defrauding you. Some fraud is run by the exact person you see.

Apply the money rule identically to verified and unverified members. It is the one thing that works regardless of how convincing someone is.

How romance fraud actually works

Knowing the shape of it makes it visible while it is happening.

1. Contact and attention. They are interested, attentive, and quick to make you feel understood. Early messages may be flattering in a way that feels slightly out of proportion.

2. Speed. Strong feelings arrive fast. Talk of a future together within days or weeks. Terms of endearment early. Pressure to move to WhatsApp, Telegram or email: off the platform, where there is no reporting and no record.

3. Reasons not to meet. Always plausible, always something. Working offshore, in the military, a doctor abroad, a contractor on a project. The role is chosen because it explains distance, poor connection, and eventual money trouble.

4. Investment of your time. Weeks or months of daily contact. This is the actual work of the fraud: by the time money is mentioned, the relationship feels real, because for you it is.

5. The first request. Small, urgent, embarrassing for them to ask, easy to solve. Often framed so refusing feels unkind. Many people pay this one because it is trivial.

6. Escalation. There is always another problem. Amounts grow. If you hesitate, expect emotional pressure, hurt, accusations, silence, or a sudden crisis.

7. The recovery scam. After the money is gone, someone contacts you offering to recover it for a fee. That is the same operation, or one that bought your details. It is a second fraud aimed at people already hurt.

Warning signs

Any one of these is worth pausing over. Several together is an answer.

Asks for money, in any form, for any reason
Will not video call, or the camera always fails
Declares strong feelings unusually early
Pushes to move off the platform quickly
Their job explains why they are unreachable and far away
Photos look professional, or too few, or inconsistent
Details change: age, location, family, work
Written style shifts between messages
Urgency about anything financial
Asks about your savings, property or income
Discourages you from telling friends or family
Becomes angry, cold or wounded when questioned
Offers to teach you an investment

What to do instead

Keep it on the platform. Reporting, blocking and message review only exist here. Off-platform, you have nothing.

Video call early, and more than once. Before you are emotionally invested, not after.

Do a reverse image search on their photos. Stolen photos appear elsewhere under other names.

Tell someone. Fraud depends on isolation. A friend hearing the story fresh will often notice immediately what you cannot.

Slow down. Fraud needs urgency. Nothing genuine collapses because you took two days.

Never explain your finances. Not savings, salary, property or inheritance. There is no honest reason for that question early on.

If in doubt, ask us. Report the profile. You will not be penalised for reporting someone who turns out to be genuine.

What not to do

Do not send "just this once." There is never one request.
Do not lend it. Framing it as a loan changes nothing.
Do not send anything on their behalf: money, parcels, or transfers into your account and out again. That can make you a money mule, which is a criminal offence in most countries even if you were deceived.
Do not send intimate images, at any stage. See Sextortion.
Do not share bank details, card numbers, ID documents or copies of your passport.
Do not accept a returned or extra payment and send the difference back. That is a laundering pattern.
Do not pay anyone promising to recover money you have lost.

If you have already sent money

You have not been foolish. You have been targeted by people who do this for a living. What matters now is what happens next.

1. Stop all payments immediately. Do not send a final amount to resolve anything. There is no resolution being offered.

2. Contact your bank or payment provider now. Some transfers can be recalled if reported quickly. Speed matters more than anything else at this point. Cryptocurrency and gift cards are usually unrecoverable, which is exactly why fraudsters ask for them.

3. Report it to the police or your national fraud reporting service. Romance fraud is a crime. Reporting it also helps other people.

4. Report the profile to us. We can act on the account and it helps identify linked profiles.

5. Keep everything. Messages, photos, payment records, account names. Do not delete the conversation before saving it, however much you want to.

6. Block them everywhere: here, and every other app they moved you to.

7. Expect a follow-up approach. Someone will offer to recover your money. Ignore them.

8. Tell someone you trust. Shame is what keeps this going, and there is nothing here to be ashamed of.

A note on financial expectations between adults

Adults may lawfully discuss lifestyle, generosity and support in a relationship, and stating what you are looking for is not prohibited.

There is a clear line, and it is not a soft one.

Not permitted on MingleExtra:

Payment in exchange for sexual activity of any kind
Escort services, prostitution or arranging paid sexual contact
Advertising rates, tariffs or price lists
Requiring payment before conversation, meeting or contact details
Any arrangement where a person is treated as purchasable

An account requesting an upfront payment to talk to you or meet you is violating the Community Guidelines regardless of how it is worded, and should be reported.

Frequently asked questions

They have sent photos and video called. Can I trust them with money?

No. Photos and video raise effort; they do not establish honesty. The money rule does not change.

What if the amount is small?

The first request is small by design. It tests whether you will pay at all.

What if they say they will pay me back?

Every romance fraud says this. Nobody has ever been repaid.

They need money for a flight to visit me. Surely that is different?

It is one of the most common versions. Anyone genuinely able to travel arranges and pays for their own travel.

They want to teach me to invest in crypto.

That is investment fraud, and it is currently one of the largest categories of loss. Stop, block and report.

Can MingleExtra get my money back?

No. We are not a bank or a law enforcement body. Contact your bank and the police immediately: they are the ones who can sometimes act.

Will you tell me the outcome of my report?

Not always, and not in detail. Sharing outcomes could identify the reporter or reveal how detection works. Reports are read and acted on.

I feel stupid. Should I still report it?

Yes. You were targeted deliberately. Reporting protects other people and is how these networks are traced.

Does MingleExtra ever ask for payment by message?

Never. All charges happen on our payment pages, started by you, in your account. Anyone else asking is not us.

Call to action

Heading: If money has come up, that is your answer

Stop the conversation, block the profile and report it. You do not owe anyone an explanation.

Buttons: Report a Profile · Read the Safety Center

Disclaimer

This page is general safety information, not financial, legal or law-enforcement advice. MingleExtra cannot recover money sent to another person and is not a party to any transaction between members. If you believe you have been defrauded, contact your bank or payment provider immediately and report it to your local police or national fraud reporting service. If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services. MingleExtra is operated by NEX MINGLE HOLDINGS LLC.

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